Living in fear of kissing!?

So I Have had sex with 7 different partners. Had only one real girl friend. I am 22, and recently I discovered the risk of oral herpes. I dont have it that I know of. But it has destroyed my life! I turn down girls because i get a fear of getting it just by kissing! Recently I met this girl , she is amazing I want to date her but I dont know her past or her history, but i really like her. I have been on 3 dates with her havent kissed her yet, and I know she is wondering why, but I cant get over my fear. I need help, I need to conquer this fear so i can live again! She doesnt have cold sores or nothing but it still scares me, I mean what are my odds? and I mean should i be concerned about this? If she gave me herpes and didnt know she has it herself and I get an outbreak? how is that gonna make me feel when she leaves me thinking i got it not her!